Body Image ~ Change your Perspective

"Her face is totally messed up after pregnancy,she doesn't look the same anymore,what the hell is going on!"
                                    "She needs to lose the weight....soon...."

"Her arms are SO big :| HOW the hell did they get so big??? I mean she used to be so skinny. It's shocking to see someone like her, an ex miss world, get so damn fat. 

"To those people who argue that she just had a baby, shut up. There are a lot of women who give birth and don't get crazy fat like her. It is all up to the individual to make an effort."

                                                                      "She lost the "most beautiful woman in the world tag"
"From a model to beauty queen to actress to fat auntie"

"I think its you who need to get real...she is not an ordinary woman...she is in the glamour business...she sells her face and her body...she is known for her beauty...she is not ordinary like us,she has all the money facilities in this world so yeah she needs to fix her body first...its not that difficult and its not to much to ask for... not every one in this world but every woman in this business needs to have a certain figure,these norms are set by the glamour world so she needs to follow it because she is a part of it...so you get real please!! I have no objection when ordinary women gain weight because they don't sell them selves in ads and films."

"If you're getting paid millions, there's no excuse for looking like this. If she were just staying at home, then it wouldn't matter"

What do you think of the comments above, little harsh don’t you think? Their talking about Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai Bachan who is just under 5 months postpartum.

Is it just me or is this perspective wrong?

So {shockingly}she hasn’t gone back to her pre pregnant figure, the public it seems want to know why not? but is it really soo bad, shes put on a little? 

"You're damned if you're too thin and you're damned if you're too heavy. According to the press I've been both. It's impossible to satisfy everyone and I suggest we stop trying."  - Jennifer Aniston

I’m not writing this because I’m her biggest fan, but because this idea of fat means ugly needs is wrong and the pressure for new mums to all of a sudden to be a size 10, LIKE a month after giving birth really needs to stop...

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We’re not all the same
Be it your first time of 1st time or your 10th time, being a new mum is hard, your body goes through major physical change, trust me weight is the last thing you’re thinking of {that is unless people keep pointing it out} and it’s pretty depressing as it is to know that the clothes in your wardrobe probably don’t fit you right now.

Believe it or not, we are all unique in how much we put on during pregnancy and how quickly it comes off after, for some women going back to pre-pregnancy shape happens quickly and naturally, for others it takes longer and you need to work hard at it. But who’s to say when that should happen? 1 month? 3 months 6? A year?

I once read it takes can take your body a whole year to recover physically from pregnancy, so why the pressure...


Take it easy she’s a new mum..
If you have had a baby you will know it’s not all text book, from the moment you get pregnant to delivery anything can happen, even after your bundle of joy arrives, looking fabulous and trim asap can at times be the last thing on your mind.

There is enough pressure to have the perfect baby and be the perfect mum as it is, add what a new mum should look like{yummy mummy}it can be a bit much.

{noted - that Aishwarya is in a business where your body and face is your income, and we expect our stars to look a certain way, but that really not the point, I wonder people making these comments above are they mothers? Have they been through pregnancy? Do they have anybody issues? I know I do} 

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Bricks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.
Hah this is what my mum would tell me, but as we all know mean and nasty comments do hurt, especially if its about a physical attribute. 

We seem to live in a culture that encourages us to rage and lash out at our bodies, even to hate them, for looking a certain way. In this case hating on someone who doesn't look the same as they did before. Causing people to call them "ugly". What kind of view is this? What is the purpose, other than to just be mean, I know the world isn’t a fluffy place but the comments are seen by others and in turn only fuels a twisted view of body image.

Acceptance 

On my trip to Pakistan I came across a lot of prejudices, I don’t know but felt it more there, while meeting far flung relatives, I would hear, mothers complaining about their daughters were too dark or fat, short, tall etc.

And the old age “who’s going to marry her” reared its ugly head. It’s awful to think that if your mother is telling you this, then what can that girl expect from her future husband or in-laws??

I once actually heard someone say I hope I don’t have a fat baby girl.. I wondered then if she did would she love her any less?


Will it Change?
This social standard of what the right body image is, has really damaging effects on not only us but our future children, so not only can we change, we need to.

Were constantly force feed that we need to be striving for perfection. Last time I checked there is no such thing, yet the media, have us all warped with their body image brain washing.

But lets be honest this isn’t something that will really stop, after all magazines and films tell us a certain look is beautiful, so until that changes people will still have expectations. 

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These are just my view, and i would love to hear yours on any of these subjects, do you feel pressure to be a certain way?? Leave a comment here or on facebook

Rabbia oxox

School of Rock (n Roll Bride) ~ Being Inspired & What i Learnt

I realised yesterday that if you put your mind to it you really can achieve anything, big or small, last year reading about the school of rock i said to my husband i would love to go to that, oh and meet Kat :) well little did i know that few months later i would find my self at the School of Rock. cue big grin

I was so pleased with my self for a not squealing like a teenager in front of Kat (how uncool would that be) and actually asking some questions that would help me in the long run, i really was super excited to be there, of course for the learning, but ever since i started to blog i have been an avid reader of rock n roll bride, so for me i got to meet one of my blogging heros

Its funny at one point Kat said that when people meet her they think they know her, which i can see how true that would be, look at me i read her blog, and follow on twitter, lol i don't even keep that up to date with my mum, hence its easy to feel like you know someone, but as long as your not a total stalker i think its a good thing after all as bloggers we want people to be a part of our world.

The workshop took place at the The Chimney House in Sheffield, which by the way would be such an awesome venue for a party or reception.

So what did we learn, well Kat had put a pretty nifty slide show together, and she took us though all areas of blogging and Gareth was there to answer any tech questions we had.

Iv been blogging for over a year & a half now, so i was really keen to learn about how to turn this amazing hobby of mine into a business but also how to stay sane, I wont give you an exact note by note of what we learnt, but here's some of what i personally learnt from it.

kat doing her thing!

tea :) & taking notes

mini eggs kept us going

Inspiration is Key ~ Most creatives will agree with this, that in order to do good work you need to be inspired. Before i went away to Lahore i literary lost my mojo, i wanted to blog but really couldn't find the motivation to do it, so for me it meant taking time out, away from the laptop. This was talked about by Kat who herself is so inspiring but also seeing all the other creative & talented women there, ready to learn and take new steps was in itself motivational for me.

Why Am i Doing This? ~ This is something everyone needs to think about, for me i need to know why im blogging, for all  the times i cant be bothered or just want to give up, i think if you don't have a clear reason for why your doing something then giving it up or not caring becomes all to easy.

Get Organised ~ Seriously if I'm to make a go of this, this part is imperative for me, I have a house and 2 small children to look after, which i already feel is like a full time job, so being a slacker won't really work, with a small business so i'll be needing a schedule sharpish.

Be Yourself /Do it Your Own Way ~ Honestly i wish i was living by this rule years ago, or that they gave these kind of workshops at school, i may only blog about weddings, but even weddings have us stereotyped, i hate to say it but as asians we still hardly think out side the box, due to peer pressure maybe?

I'm lucky that i don't have anyone to answer too when i blog, giving me the pleasure of blogging whatever i well please, but even that can be at times difficult, i might worry a post is too controversial? or maybe not what readers want, but why do i even think like that, does that even matter, well it does, but really no one has ever been able to please everyone. so be it blogging or even your wedding, do what you want, and what makes you happy.

Be Honest ~ I'm lucky that one of the most honest people i know is my dad, he been in business for as long as i can remember. Honesty and being trust worthy worked for him, and its something Kat talked about too, and in business it really is key.

Say bye bye to SEO & Stats ~ ok well not really, so i need to keep a wee eye on them, but obsessing about them wont make anything happen, other than make me go a little gaga.

That a tiny little snippet of what i learnt, with being on the cusp of major change with my blog, hearing from a blogger who is so successful, ace at what she does, is just what i needed, I learnt so much in such a short space of time, but more than anything i appreciate that Kat shared with us all what i would call invaluable advice...and i have been very few people do that.

The only low was i had to go home after the workshop, so couldn't stay for dinnner and get to mingle with all the other ladies. oh and least not forget acting like a total geek, when i realised other people i follow on twitter where there..eek! but all in all an amazing day, one that left me raring to go........look forward to sharing all the new changes with you soon!

**As i was typing this via Thursday Treats i saw that you can go to the next School of Rock blogging workshop in April at Muddifords Court, Devon. Iif you want to go, i would book like right now, as it will sell out quick - more info here

Lahore Week 1

Hi lovelies sorry about the absence, been a little slow since landing in Lahore, its been a week already, seriously 2 weeks is not enough, coupled with jet lag, change in weather & food we have both been a little worse for wear, but i have still been hitting the shops pretty much daily, looking forward to sharing all my finds with you soon.

I thought i would be blogging way more than i have been, but seems not having visited the in law in over 6 years has left a ALOT of catching up to do.

So far its been a pretty emotional trip, last time i came was on the passing of my mother in law, she was a gem, she really was, and her passing hit everyone really hard, especially my husband he was very close to his mother, was the first time i saw him breakdown, i still cant comprehend what he must have gone through I'm lucky to still have both my parent, i guess its one of those things we can only experience when it happens to us.

I'm in Multan right now, visiting my brother in law, who has the cutest little 6month old twin girls, seriously making  me broody, and that is it not a good thing!  plus makes me miss my own girls even more... going back to Lahore tomorrow, been taking a few pictures, and you'll notice there pretty much all of the traffic, as getting any where takes forever, and the only way i can describe the traffic and driving here is crazy!! a mix of rally driving and go karting, being a parent, i tend to be pretty safety aware while in the car, but all that goes out the window here, sitting your child on your lap in the front seat or behind the driving wheel is pretty normal eek!

I'll try take more pictures of other than rickshaws this week :) oh and i took most of these with instagram, how amazing is that app

everything can be repaired

gol gappay