Valentines Day & Letting Go of Romantic Ideals

I'll be honest with you I'm a sucker for all thing valentines day... I'm one of those die-hard, hopeless romantics. In fact I harbour some rather unrealistic expectations, about what should be done today, or any other day for that matter.

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So you can imagine the sheer disbelief when my husband turned out to be the most unromantic man i know, {although he's second to my dad he is most definitely the first}

Every year is pretty much the same, maybe a card but that's it, but this year was going to be different, having said that, I'll give him some dues he has year on year made more effort)

This year thing where going to be different, i was planning the day and was going to show, him how it should be done....

Lots of planning was requires but i was prepared ~ 

check check check!

What I didn't consider though that days before, my little ones would get sick, oh its just a cold i told myself {104 temp} couple of days later the Mr was now down with a bad fever, seriously whats going on he never gets sick!

Yesterday i was running around the supermarket like a loony not buying heart-shaped novelty food, or roses but stocking up on med, tissues, and chicken {had to make chicken soup, it the culinary equivalent to penicillin}

Love was by the bedside with a sick bucket!  - via 

So I'm home today, girls are feeling better, and mr is in bed, off from work still not feeling great, serves me right for going ott, but really its not my fault, i didn't just pluck these ideals from thin air, oh no i like to blame the movies...Hollywood and Bollywood!

No wonder, how could i not with there airy light-hearted plots, romantic ideals, and of course the happy endings

The hero, always knows exactly what the heroines wants, so much so, that at times she doesn't even know herself what she wants, oh but he does. Lets not forget he's willing to take on everyone for her love, parents, the world, you name it! oh yes and the best one, he knows exactly how to set up very elaborate meals/dates.{usually including lots of candlelight & violins}

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Now if I'm not wrong all the above does is places lots of red and pink pressure on couples.

It did on us, he wasn't living up to the ideals that i had in my head. So you could say i learnt a lesson, that this day or any others days doesn't need to be picture perfect, there shouldn't be any  rules or protocol for what to do or not to.. 

Just because your not doing anything doesn't mean you or him you don't care, or love each other any less..

So i thought why not change my way of thinking..

♥ Leave the cliches behind...like who really gets love notes and flower everyday day!
♥ Don't just save romance for one day and forget the other 364 days of the year.
♥ Don't feel bad about the fact that i haven’t been given a bunch of flowers.
♥ Stop being a whinger ~ usually once i have heard or seen someone else brag about what their significant other is doing for them. i will whinge to my other half about what hes not doing.

♥ Finally and most importantly stop over analysing my relationship on one particular day in February ...

So what am I doing tonight, well i cooked our favourite meal, and have UP to watch at home... and cheesy as it may sound, i wouldn't change a thing :)

Some movies i like to blame ~ Only You - The Notebook  - Romeo + Juliet.
Hindi ~ Qayamat se Qayamat tak - Dil - Dil Hai Ke Manta Nahin {yes i like Amir Khan}

Love to hear your thoughts on this...

Musings on Marriage ~ Are you going to cry at your wedding

A conversation me and my husband had, about when our girls get married, ~ it went something like this.

Me ~ Will you cry?
Him ~ No of course not
Me ~ But you'll get emotional
Him ~ Hmmm no, well maybe, i will be old, maybe i will cry?
Me ~ Of course you'll cry especially when you see them crying!!
Him ~ ...............

Lets face it most of us do cry at weddings, or at least get teary eyed, but its all tears of joy right?

Rruksati/Bidaai is If often seen to be a somber occasion especially for the bride's parents as it marks the departure of their daughter from their home.

Iv often thought that how you'll be on your big day, directly linked to what your journey to that day has been like, was it an arranged marriage, and your still getting to know your partner, or have you been dating, for a while, and know each other pretty well, are you moving away, living with in law or your own house.

Simply just getting married can make you emotional, regardless of circumstance, it is a new experience after all. new role, responsibilities...

Personally I didn't cry on the day, {did plenty before hand} but you would think I would have, being in a different country, having an arranged marriage, but I knew I was coming back to my own house, with my parents close by. Do you think that makes difference?

In the past iv seen countless brides, some have howled, some shed a tear or two, many have smiled happily as they met with family members and left for their honeymoon.

of course there is no right or wrong, in fact at times calm and composed, brides seem to surprise people more "why is she not crying" its almost like an asian tradition to cry, and if your not, then why not!?

No bride should be under pressure to be a certain way, of course what ever naturally happens, happens...

that is of course unless this song gets played...{is it still being played}

    

actually having wrote this post and watched this clip, must admit I hate these song now.
1) they make me cry 2) what they represent, girls leaving home, not belong to there parents anymore blah blah blah

Time have changed from say when my parents got married, my mother left Pakistan when she was just 18, and would tell me how she cried like a baby and did want to let her little sisters go, and her mother was worried how she would be treated, by her in laws {now that is always in the back of parents head}but have they? unfortunately even now especially in our Asian community there is still  the "in law" problem, but that I think will be a whole different post.

love to hear your thoughts this topic, how do you think you'll be on the big day? are you under pressure to "cry"

R xoxo

photo credits www.aacreation.com & www.taimurahmed.com

Weekend Links & Musings on Marriage

I thought about how to write this, so i don't come off completely as self-absorbed, but really I'm not sure that's possible, you see I don't like any gifts my husband {said really quietly} gets. You will find me either returning it for another items or store credit.
Off course if he asks what I want its fine, Its when he wonders into the wild on his own and picks it himself, well its just down hill. I'm told its the thought that counts but what if you hate the gift? Am I just being ungrateful, or fussy? or does he just not know my taste?


Well its happened again just recently, I couldn't contain myself and just blurted out i didn't like it, {we should be honest right?} he didn't say much, I on the other hand was guilt ridden.

Has this happen to you..... would you speak up or just keep returning things or really should he know better?

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Miss Indian Bride talks Diamond Contact Lenses...come again...

Asiya is having a seriously gorgeous giveaway with indian hanger.com who stock the above creations *sigh*

Been blown away by Shehzad & Nadia wedding, the bride is a stunner! Saw it first here and now Kismet is blogging it on her own blog, eagerly awaiting part 3

Some help with choosing you colour palette

There just isn't anything I don't love about this wedding ~ yellow and gray colour scheme...and the bride rocks glasses!!

Ah this has to be the engagement shoot I have been waiting for, i lurve vintage so this shoot really pulls at my heart strings! And I cant stress enough about e sessions and how you should really have fun and get creative, how about this hilarious session

Maharani bliss..a beautiful fusion wedding {ahh the mandap}
Following on perfect is this - the humble Carnation gets a makeover

Another fab ideas for a bridal shower it is all in the details after all.

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Ferrero Rocher cupcakes yes please!
Ah my two favorite things cake and donuts together
Cute DIY paper fun
My father always has a bow tie at every wedding, so knowing how to tie one is a must!