Musings on Marriage ~ Are you going to cry at your wedding

A conversation me and my husband had, about when our girls get married, ~ it went something like this.

Me ~ Will you cry?
Him ~ No of course not
Me ~ But you'll get emotional
Him ~ Hmmm no, well maybe, i will be old, maybe i will cry?
Me ~ Of course you'll cry especially when you see them crying!!
Him ~ ...............

Lets face it most of us do cry at weddings, or at least get teary eyed, but its all tears of joy right?

Rruksati/Bidaai is If often seen to be a somber occasion especially for the bride's parents as it marks the departure of their daughter from their home.

Iv often thought that how you'll be on your big day, directly linked to what your journey to that day has been like, was it an arranged marriage, and your still getting to know your partner, or have you been dating, for a while, and know each other pretty well, are you moving away, living with in law or your own house.

Simply just getting married can make you emotional, regardless of circumstance, it is a new experience after all. new role, responsibilities...

Personally I didn't cry on the day, {did plenty before hand} but you would think I would have, being in a different country, having an arranged marriage, but I knew I was coming back to my own house, with my parents close by. Do you think that makes difference?

In the past iv seen countless brides, some have howled, some shed a tear or two, many have smiled happily as they met with family members and left for their honeymoon.

of course there is no right or wrong, in fact at times calm and composed, brides seem to surprise people more "why is she not crying" its almost like an asian tradition to cry, and if your not, then why not!?

No bride should be under pressure to be a certain way, of course what ever naturally happens, happens...

that is of course unless this song gets played...{is it still being played}


actually having wrote this post and watched this clip, must admit I hate these song now.
1) they make me cry 2) what they represent, girls leaving home, not belong to there parents anymore blah blah blah

Time have changed from say when my parents got married, my mother left Pakistan when she was just 18, and would tell me how she cried like a baby and did want to let her little sisters go, and her mother was worried how she would be treated, by her in laws {now that is always in the back of parents head}but have they? unfortunately even now especially in our Asian community there is still  the "in law" problem, but that I think will be a whole different post.

love to hear your thoughts this topic, how do you think you'll be on the big day? are you under pressure to "cry"

R xoxo

photo credits www.aacreation.com & www.taimurahmed.com

1 comment:

  1. This is a really thoughtful question. I didn't cry at all during my rukhsati, and I think it was partly because I was all cried out from my Nikkah, which happened earlier that day.

    But it was also because, I never really watched bollywood films or indian soaps growing up, so I didn't know all about how you're SUPPOSED to cry at your rukhsati. The tears I did shed were genuine though, and to this day, it's one of the most emotionally significant moments of my life.

    That said, I think the rukhsati is so special and ever since I've gotten married, I realized how significant that moment is. I will definitely bawl my eyes out during my daughter's rukhsati, whether or not she does. Even now I get teary-eyed just writing those words, and she's only five!!


Love hearing what you think...